Friday, December 31, 2010

The Cliche New Years Post

Well friends, another year is over. All I can say is 2010 was one hell of a ride.

I graduated college. I got my heartbroken (again). I got fired from a job. I got a new job. I made some awesome new friends. I've had crazy adventures. I've grown professionally. I've become more independent. I've gone from a scared little college student to an adult who is grabbing the real world by the balls.

While my friends are out partying and ringing in the New Year, I'm stuck in bed sick. But that's not going to stop me from making 2011 the best year yet, after all every night is a New Years party when you live in Vegas :-)

And since New Year's Resolutions are dumb but bucket lists are not, I've added a new tab to my blog of things I am going to accomplish in 2011. Can't wait to see what's in store for all of us!


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Not Your Average Christmas

2 years ago my family decided we were done with the typical Christmas. Instead of spending a ton of money on gifts we don't really ever use or want, we don't get each other anything (there are a few exceptions here and there but it's nothing like it used to be).

Instead, we spend Christmas morning feeding the homeless with a local non-profit organization in our community. This is my second year doing this on Christmas morning and each year it gets more rewarding.

With over 574 homeless people and 350 volunteers I had some of the most heartwarming experiences. I watched people laugh together, cry together, sing and tell stories. One of the volunteers noticed a homeless woman without any shoes so she took her own shoes (right off her feet) and put them on the homeless woman. She spent the rest of the day in her socks with a huge smile on her face.

That's what Christmas is really all about.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Gift

About 2 months ago I stopped seeing Texas boy. I just never got around to telling ya'll about it.

I'm just guessing from the 16 text messages (an hour), phone calls, facebook messages, etc. he didn't take me not wanting to see him anymore very well.

A few weeks later all contact stopped and let me tell you, it felt like a vacation!

Apparently he had fallen head over heels and too much too soon makes me RUN for the hills.

A few days ago he texted me and asked for my address (ummm creepy). He told me that he wanted to send me a gift. I told him that it wasn't necessary and didn't text him again.

Today I got the gift.

It was a Christmas card with a frozen yogurt gift card inside (my favorite non-dessert, dessert EVER!)

I couldn't help but sit and stare at it wondering how someone that I went on 3 dates with, decided I didn't want to see anymore, treated like crap and basically ignored send me such a sweet gift?

And how could the good "Christian" man I was going to marry (fireman), the one who I was head over heels in love with, who I wanted to be with forever, break up with me 8 months ago and never talk to me again?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

So this is what depression feels like...

Dear Internet, I think I'm depressed.

I hate my job.

I have the WORST headaches every single day. which means I take pain meds every day (no good)

I'm tired ALL the time.

I have to force myself to do normal things like hang out with my friends.

I keep skipping the gym and it makes me feel fat and lazy.

I want to go to bed at 5pm.

I feel like the sun never shines anymore.

Laughing doesn't come as easy.

I'm emotional and always want to cry.

I just want the old me back.

Stress is no bueno.

I need to quit my job ASAP

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Stranger things have happened

One of the hardest parts of my job is getting meetings with business owners. Everyone always acts like they are SO busy and can't spare 10 minutes to even give me the time of day. Some are really nice about it but others are just plain horrible.

One of the business owners I called today fell under the horrible category. Let's call him L. L wasn't very nice to me on the phone so I told him I would like the pleasure of meeting him in real life.

"I'll be here all day," he screamed at me with his chain smoker scruffy voice.

I got there at 2 and he was just as mean in person as he was on the phone. Except in person he looked a little more pathetic. He was dirty with stains on his shirt and missing teeth. I actually felt kind of sorry for him. After listening to him complain for 15 minutes I asked him what he did like in life because he seemed to complain about everything.

"I like knives," he replied. "Knives and Cars."

Then he proceeded to show me his knives. He took me on a tour in his knife museum (4 hallways and 2 rooms full of them).

I heard the history behind most of them and finally when I asked how many he had in his collection he told me 3,000.

I left the place at 3:30. That's 1 hour and 15 minutes of knives.

Stranger things have happened.

Monday, November 29, 2010

While I've been out

It's funny how blogging can just get away from you. First you tell yourself that you are only going to skip one day and then the next day rolls around and you don't feel like writing so you can skip that too. And then you log in and realize you haven't updated since Nov 12th. How the heck does that even happen?!

So while I've been gone here are some of the things that have gone on in my life....

I had a birthday and we sure did celebrate. Evidence below:

And since I'm still on my no dessert diet I didn't have any birthday cake or pie or cupcakes or any of that fun stuff this year. Instead I had some frozen yogurt....

Texas boy is no longer in the picture. Or at least I'm trying to make him not in the picture but he can't seem to let go and keeps texting me NON-STOP. I'll update more on him later in a whole new post.

Mario Kart is back in the picture, maybe. At least he wants to be. I haven't decided if I'm okay with that yet. Is it wrong to like someone because they are a firefighter? Firemen always have been my weakness...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Why my parents have grey hair...

I was an out of control child and needed to be the center of attention ALL the time. Luckily I have cool parents who encouraged and embraced my personality.

When I was in kindergarden I told my teacher that I had 5 brothers and sisters just so she would pay attention to me more. It worked until she asked my mom how she handled having so many children and found out I was an only child.

When I was in first grade I made up stories about my teacher becoming a witch and flying around the room and told them to my mom. My imagination was so big that I thought I was telling the truth.

When I was in second grade I got in trouble because I didn't want to watch one of the teachers perform his yearly Hanukkah song. I told him that I had already seen his show last year and was tired of the same ol thing all the time.

When I was in third grade I wouldn't eat breakfast so my mom would give me ice cream just so I would have something in my stomach before school. This was awesome until we had to go around the class and tell everyone what we eat for breakfast. I'm surprised they didn't lock my mom up.

I was always finding new and creative ways to be the center of attention......

The sad thing is I'm probably going to have kids that are 5 times more out of control than I was

Sunday, November 7, 2010

At least I didn't quit my day job...

Last week I volunteered at a Halloween carnival for little kids that live in the projects. I signed up to volunteer for this thing thinking I would be running a carnival game or the cotton candy machine.

When I got there the event coordinator came running over to me desperate for another face painter. Turns out one of the ones they had already scheduled couldn't make it so they needed someone else.

Desperate times call for desperate measures and I decided to fake it until I made it. Turns out face painting is A LOT harder than it looks and most of the kids that left my station ended up looking like this.....

At least they had fun right?! And luckily there were no mirrors at the face paint station so they didn't know the difference!

(These are google kids and not pictures of the real faces I painted but they pretty accurately portray my face painting skill level)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

You can't judge a book by it's cover but, can you judge a guy by his friends?!

Right before Halloween one of my good friends lost her ID so we were forced to look for things to do that didn't require ID's. I felt like we were back in high school, except for we looked hotter. I rocked the same costume I wore last year calling it my economy outfit. The first party we went to was a bunch of people from high school and we all had a blast dancing, laughing, and catching up.

Then I made my friend leave because I wanted to see Texas boy. Apparently he was at a "party" and wanted us to come. We drove clear across town and showed up to the random address he texted me. There were no cars out front (which should have been our first clue) and when we knocked on the door only 4 people were there, Texas boy and 3 of his friends.

A little disappointed we tried to make the best of the situation until Texas boy's friend started being really mean to us. And not just a little bit but like really really mean. He even threw a ping pong ball at my friends face. Here's the kicker...Texas boy didn't stick up for us. He even said to me, "well you better get along with him because he is going to be my roomate." Umm no.

My friend and I left and decided to end our night at Ihop. I didn't even say bye to Texas boy and my opinion of him changed drastically. That night I went to bed wondering if it was okay to judge a guy by his friends and if this should be a red flag for Texas boy.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

"Austin was nice but I like you better"

Texas guy didn't call the next day....but he did call the day after and we made plans to go out the next weekend.

The crazy thing is I was actually excited to go out with him and couldn't wait for the week to be over.

We had plans to meet Saturday at 5. Saturday morning I realized I didn't really remember what he looked like. When I arrived I realized he was a lot cuter than I remembered him being.

The whole night I had SO much fun! He was so easy to talk to and I felt like I hung out with him every single weekend. We went to an awesome country concert and sat in the grass under the stars. It was so cute! And I even have plans to hang out with him again (what am I turning into?!?!)

And let's just say the night ended with a pretty sweet goodbye :-)

"To kiss and tell, that's just not my style, but the night is young and it's been a while"

It was the Texas hat

Last Friday my friends and I decided to go to a country bar. I decided to invite some guys I went to high school with so we didn't get creeped on by random dudes like we did the weekend before.

We were dancing, laughing and acting like we owned the place.

I decided it was more fun to be with guys we already knew then standing around as a group of girls waiting for non-creeps to come up and talk to us.

Then a guy walked by. I didn't really look at his face or pay attention to him but I did notice his orange hat with the Texas Longhorns symbol on it.

30 min later he walked by again. And then again. And finally he walked up to the bar next to where I was standing so I grabbed his shirt and did the hook em horns hand signal.

We started talking. I told him my name was Austin. He introduced me to all of his friends as Austin.

Then I started to like him. I wanted to see him again (which is VERY rare for me to like a guy at a bar). Luckily he asked for my number but I had already lied to him and told him a fake name.

I had to work the next day so I had to leave early. He said he would call.

Blog friends, meet Texas guy.

Monday, October 11, 2010

You are going to ruffle some feathers if you want to fly.

Every day I get an email from this website called the Daily Love. It is always FULL of inspiration and things that make me smile or think. This was today's daily love......

When you stand up and begin to shine, you become a target. Shine on anyways. Who gives a damn about the negative opinion of others. Get used to critics and "haters". Sometimes they have really good things to say and can help you grow. Remember that your "haters" are still watching you and are most likely your #1 fan. I heard a statistic that over 50% of Howard Stern's audience back in the day HATED him, but tuned in to hear what he would say next. They might hate him, but who's laughing all the way to the bank?

You can sign up to get your own daily love HERE and unlike that horrible kisser you went out with twice just to make sure he really was horrible and not just having an off night you won't regret it, promise.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Today I watched 50 couples renew their wedding vows.

Then I watched 3 couples tie the knot.

It was the cutest thing.

Love was in the air.

Then I stood in our church lobby.

5 feet away from the man that was going to be my husband.

And he looked at me.

Like I was a stranger.

Or a dead person.

He never looked me in the eye.

But I know he saw.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

TAG :-)

This beautiful blogger who also happens to be one of my favorites tagged me in her last post. So here are the questions I have to answer:

1) What are the 3 places you would like to go and visit?

Well, considering I want to move to Austin, Texas so bad it's obviously one of the places I would really like to visit! I would also like to go to Europe and somewhere tropical....I haven't really traveled a lot of places so the list of places I need to visit is SUPER long.

2) Tell me about something you really care about?

I really care about my family and my friends. I would do anything for them :-)

3) What is the hardest thing you have ever had to do?

The hardest thing I ever had to do was walk away from the man I loved. I knew it would be the end but I also knew that it would be for the best. He wasn't very nice.

4) What is your favourite part of the day?

My favorite part of the day is twilight. Right at the prime of sunset when everything is glowing a shade of yellowish orange. This is also the best time for taking pictures!

5) What is your favourite film?

My favorite film changes constantly! I don't really watch movies or TV often so I'm really behind. If you ask me if I have seen a certain movie the answer is most likely no.

6) If you could ban one thing what would it be?

Broken hearts! No one should ever deal with the horribleness of a broken heart!

7) Are you superstitious?

Not really!

8) Where would you like to see yourself in 10 years time?

Smiling and happy. Married to an amazing man who adores me. 2 little children. Awesome job. Successful in life.
In the mean time- I would make an awesome rich man's wife...just sayin!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

On the clock freakout...ready GO!

I'm at work right now and I just figured out how to add the Blogger app to my phone. Now I can blog anytime anywhere. This could be dangerous yall.

Speaking of the word yall I want to move to Texas really bad...but I've never even been there I just have this idea in my head that I want to live there. I should probably go visit first or maybe just do it. Afterall I did move to Vegas without ever knowing about any life past the strip.

So I'm freaking out right now because I am so over my job. I am so unmotivated right now its not even funny. I have this vision of what I want to do in my life and this is not it. I was born for marketing and public relations not sales. I want to be creative. I want to have fun. I want to make a difference. I want to plan parties and grand openings. I want to write blogs and press releases and get people interested in companies. Companies I believe in.

I have all these things I want to do now I just need to make them happen.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Monday, October 4, 2010

Must be an Ohio thing

Both of these pictures were taken a year apart but they are almost identical. They were also both taken in Ohio. Guess I will have to go there next year to keep up the tradition...

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Sometimes I put the tired in inspired. Yeah that makes no sense. You know if the insp were gone and a t took its place then it would be tired and that's what usually what I am (haha can't you tell?)

On a typical day i'll be at work and at 2 or 3 I will make all of these great after work plans in my head. They usually include the gym, dinner, saving the world, blogging and any other adventure I can find. Then it happens...usually right after dinner I crawl into bed and crash. My brain is dead and I can't even form a sentence. This is when it becomes easier to just read all of your beautiful blogs than to write my own.

I JUST learned how to check my blog stats yesterday. I know I know I'm a late bloomer but now I'm obsessed. And the funny thing is I haven't been writing much BUT some of you still check this piece o' the internet every day. Which is super sweet and I for sure love the attention but I wish I knew who you all were.

So here's the plan. I'm going to start writing more and you all are going to delurk. Ready? Go!

Ollie ollie oxen free!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Summertime and the livin is easy

After a horrible day at work I went to swim laps at the rec center. The entire time I was SO jealous of the lifeguards. That used to be me. My days consisted of swim lessons, hanging out with friends, getting tan, laughing with kids in the pool and livin the easy life.

Sure it was 115 degrees out most of the days BUT I was really skinny from drinking 2 gallons of water a day and not eating.

I did have to get up at 5am to make it to the pool by 5:15 BUT I didn't have to get ready...I could roll out of bed, throw up my hair and put on a bathing suit.

I would have to sit on stand by myself and try to stay awake (especially when it was 5:30) BUT every 15 minutes I got to take naps on my 15 minute break.

THAT was the life. Not only did I have an easy and fun job but I also had some of the coolest and most amazing co-workers in the world!

Friday, September 17, 2010

5 Months

Today marks the 5 month anniversary of the 2 things that are no longer in my life.

1. Dessert or any kind of sweets (cookies, cupcakes, ice cream, chocolate, candy, cake, etc.)

2. My ex boyfriend.

I didn't think I could live without either one at first but 5 months later I'm doing just fine :-)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

His name is What?!?!

Since I talk to a lot of people on a daily basis at work, something funny almost always happens at least once a day. The other day this lady made me laugh so hard I was crying. In my office. By myself. Pretty sure if anyone walked in they woulda thought I was crazy. She worked at a hair salon and I called because I wanted to speak to the owner.

Hair Salon Lady: Blah Blah Salon, How can I help you?

Me: Hi I just wanted to speak with the owner or the person that does your marketing.

Hair Salon Lady: He's not in right now...OMG there's a dog loose running around in the parking lot....

Me: Okay, well what's his name?

Hair Salon Lady: I don't know the damn dog's name.

Me: Umm I meant the owner's name...

Poor lady was so embarrassed she hung up on me. And I continued to laugh for at least 5 minutes.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

You're so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you.

I'm not the first girl that has ever rejected him. I'm probably not even the first girl that week that had rejected him. He's straight outta Hollywood (literally) but definitely looking for love in all the wrong places.

I met him at a tweetup in Vegas. For 2 minutes. I actually don't even think it was that long. He immediately added me to his Twitter list of "hot chicks" or something creepy like that. Then he created a romantic movie scene in his head and I was the starlet.

Months went by and the romance scene in his head grew into a full blown movie. He knew every line but I had never even seen the script.

A few weeks ago he was in Vegas. He asked me out to dinner and I politely rejected him so he did what any d-list Hollywood actor would do and threw a MAJOR diva-drama queen fit.

Lucky for me his temper tantrum entree included a side of public humiliation on Twitter and Facebook. After sending out a few tweets and status updates to his followers bashing me I had to put an end to it so I sent out my own tweet to all of his followers and my own..... "@NameProtected you should go put a condom over your head because if you are going to act like a dick you might as well dress like one."

Hollywood learned a major lesson that night. You don't mess with Vegas. Especially a PR person in Vegas.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Slow dance in sweatpants, cuz that's how I roll.

It was a Thursday night.

My friend dragged us all out for her birthday dinner even though most of us just got off work and had to work early the next day.

After being dressed up and in heels all day, sweatpants were the only thing on my mind. Normally I would try to dress up a little bit for a birthday dinner but in full birthday boycot mode nothing was going to make me change out of my comfy choice of clothing for the night.

We all met out front. My friends are all dressed up. Full makeup, short dresses, heels, the whole shebang. If you lined us all up you could have played the game "Who doesn't belong?" A 4 year old could have probably played the game that night.

So what's the first thing I do? Make eye contact with some eye candy at the bar of course! Eye contact somehow always turns into me walking up and having a conversation which somehow turned into me inviting eye candy and his friend over to our table to join in on the birthday dinner festivities.

Eye Candy quicky got the nickname Georgia Peach and his friend...well he was just there. After being way too loud, laughing way too hard and singing every song playing through the restaurant we all became fast friends. And then a slow song came on.

Georgia Peach: * Jokingly holds out his hand* would you like to dance?

Me: Actually I would

Georgia Peach: Are you serious? In the middle of the restaurant? With everyone staring?

Me: Yes. I like attention.

So then we slow danced through the restaurant. Sweatpants and all.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?

I was in the 8th grade.

It was 6 in the morning (on the west coast) and I had just woken up to get ready for school.

My parents were still asleep so I went into our living room to turn on the TV and probably sleep a little longer on the couch.

The first thing I saw on the screen was a big skyscraper on fire. Then an airplane went through the building next to it. I had no idea what was going on or what the buildings even were. I watched clouds of smoke and flames, heard people screaming, and saw things start crashing to the ground.

I decided to shower and get ready for school. My parents were awake and I told them I had just watched some airplane crash through some building on the news.

They ran to the TV and couldn't take their eyes off of it. My dad explained to me that the buildings weren't just landmarks people go on vacation to see but they were the world trade centers and thousands of people worked in those buildings every day. I still don't even think I understood.

I went to school that day and all of the teachers were hush hush about the situation. We kept hearing different bits and pieces of information and a lot of students spent the day crying. Some students even got pulled out of school for the day by their parents.

In 5th period my computer teacher finally turned on the TV for us to see what was going on and that is when it hit me. The images I saw on the screen will probably be burned into my brain forever. The people jumping out of the burning building. The burned and bloody bodies helplessly lying on the ground. The people covered in grey smoke and ashes. The screaming and crying. The image of the second tower getting hit by the airplane seemed to play over and over.

The worst part was the fear. Everyone was overcome by some type of fear. Fear that it would happen again. Fear that loved ones had been lost. Fear that our nation would never be the same that it once was, and it hasn't been.

It's been 9 years but it seems like it happened just yesterday.

Friday, September 10, 2010

If at first you don't succeed just annoy the crap outta people until you get your way. Or win them over with your beauty, that works too!

He hung up on me every single day for a week and a half.

I would call and he would answer. I would say my name and ask him if he got my email. He would say no and slam the phone down. Every. Single. Day.

As much as I loved our newfound hang up on me and treat me like crap tradition, I knew I had to change things ASAP.

My life depended on it.

Okay maybe not my life, but my weekly job quotas did.

So I got smart and decided to drop by his restaurant for lunch. I knew him but he didn't know me so the ball was in my court. The fact that I had an adorable outfit on and my hair fell perfectly that day might have helped too.

Luckily he happened to be working the register. I couldn't have planned it better. I played the cute girl role and he even flirted with me a bit. He delivered my lunch to my table, which is unusual for a fast food place, and he even came over frequently asking if I was enjoying my meal. Not knowing who I was the entire time.

After my lunch I politely walked over and introduced myself. I wish I had a picture of his jaw dropping to the floor as he said, "Are you serious?" in a very shocked voice.

Long story short, we met that day. He signed the deal today. I made my first work achievement and my boss is proud. No one has to know that I basically leeched on to this guy and used my looks to get him to meet with me. All my company cares about is the money but my blog friends always get the entire story ;-)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Blogging until my fingers bleed-coming soon!

This morning I woke up and wondered how the heck it was already September 8th.

I meant to blog on Monday....a week and a half ago.

I have SO much to say and so many stories to tell I just want to write, write and write. I wish i could take an entire day and just write about the past few crazy weeks in my life.

Stories are coming and they will be worth the wait. You'll laugh, You'll cry, and you'll laugh until you cry.


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What's wrong with me?!

It's not always sunshine and glitter in my mind and sometimes my own worst enemy gets the best of me. The enemy? Worry. And it can strike anytime and anywhere without a warning. My mind starts racing and I start freaking the eff out.

I was always that little kid at the slumber party who was convinced that there was a dead body under the bed instead of a suitcase.

The girl who heard a noise while home alone and was sure that the door was going to bust down and I would get kidnapped and robbed.

The young high school student who was scared to death she would never find a boyfriend or a prom date.

The high school graduate who thought college would be big and scary.

The college student who would hyperventilate before exams worrying that she wouldn't remember the information and fail a class.

And now here I am the recent college graduate with my first salary job, in a career I didn't see myself starting out in, freaking out that I won't be good enough or meet my weekly quotas.

Worry is my worst enemy, and why do I always let it get the best of me?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Somebody call 911

My whole life I've kinda sorta had this thing for firefighters.

Can you blame me? ;-)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up

OMG. I. Am. So. Freaking. Tired.

Last week was my first week of work at my big girl full time salary job and believe me full time means FULL [where the heck do all the hours in the day go] time.

My month of unemployment spoiled the crap out of me. At work you can't lay out and tan by the pool after you eat lunch, you can't go to the 4 o clock spin class at the gym and you can't even think about drinking that morning mimosa and afternoon margarita (not that I ever did that...but I could have!)

I don't even want to see my friends on weeknights anymore and all those texts I get after I go to bed at uhhh 9 I respond to when I wake up at dark thirty in the morning.

You know what? I love it. Sure it is going to take some time to get used to and get back on a schedule where I am not thinking about sleep all the time, but I'm glad to finally have something exciting to get out of bed for during the week. I also know for a fact I'm going to be loving every other Friday (payday). Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up but I wouldn't trade it for anything :-)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why I should not be allowed out in public...

So.... tonight I went to an event at a very nice restaurant on top of one of the casinos here in Vegas. The event was in the bar area. There were tables at the back of the bar area but most of the people were just standing around and talking while trays of free mini hors d'oeuvres (yes I had to google that spelling) got passed around.

One of my friends that I was with was hungry and we kept missing the trays that were getting passed around. I spotted some food at a table in the back of the bar and walked over and told the 2 guys to scoot over. I sat down and made my friend sit right next to me.

This table was FILLED with food and I was really surprised that we didn't see all of it getting passed around. There was steak, calamari, strawberries, etc. I immediately grabbed a piece of steak and began chowing down. After my 3rd or so piece I decided to ask the guy what it was and he confirmed that I had been eating steak. I then worked my way over to the calamari and had a few pieces, then a a few strawberries.

My friend just sat there and stared at me the whole entire time. I thought she was hungry too but it didn't matter to me that she wasn't eating because that meant more grub for me. After my little meal I turned to the guys and said, "So are you here for the event?"

One guy turned to me and said, "what event?" So I was like, "what do you mean you aren't here for the event....where did all this food come from?" I wish I could have seen my face when he turned to me and said, "Umm we ordered it."

After apologizing a million times I excused myself and went back to the event with a full stomach and a new blog story.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Sometimes life is ironic...

Exactly a month ago today....

I sat in an HR office crying as I signed paperwork telling me that I had been fired from my job.
I was hurt.
My ego was bruised.
My confidence was crushed.
It was a horrible day.


I sat in an HR office smiling ear to ear as I signed paperwork stating I was a new employee of an even better company.


And not just any job. A job that pays salary and has benefits! A big girl job :-)

Screw the old company that thought I was worth $12 and hour and treated me like crap...I'm movin' on up!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Oh heyyy blog!

I've kinda ditched my little piece of the internet again this past week and a half but I have a good reason...promise!

When it rains it pours and in this case it might not be raining men, but it's raining job opportunities!

I haven't been offered anything permanent YET (keeping fingers crossed) but I have become a pro interviewer and I could probably tell you all of my good professional qualities in my sleep, in spanish and backwards.

Last week I was feeling pretty bummed about myself after I applied for MILLIONS of jobs and no one was calling me to even interview. So when worse comes to worse I become desperate. What's better for a desperate girl than to apply for a dildo job? Yup you read that right...dildo job. Now let me start from the beginning...

The job was for one of those sex toy party companies. In the corporate office (very professional) promoting new products to the women who actually go out and sell the dildos or have the parties, whatever. I was half insane and half joking when I applied for the job and what do you know, they called me for an interview.

I sat in the office that morning waiting to be called for my interview and the whole time I kept thinking, "What would the people I go to church with think?" "What about other professionals I could I go network and meet people and explain to them I promote dildos for a living." and worst of all...."What would my future husband think (not that I have anyone in my life even close to that title)?!?"

The interview was very professional. I had to keep myself from laughing a few times especially when the lady said in her high pitched voice, "This company is not just sex toys but also potions, lotions and feathers."

She told me that she would call me back if I happened to be the candidate they chose to be "passionized."

She never called me back. Thank God. Because I don't even want to know what it's like to be "passionized."

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Little White Vegas Lies

This heat oven I call home is known for its slogan "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." It's a 24-7 town where you can make people believe anything about you that you want them to believe. The funny thing is not only visitors change their identities when they come to Vegas but us locals do it too. Every time I go out I am a new person with a new career and identity. I'm getting pretty good at this white lie game and now I can even play it off with a straight face.

It all started with my alter ego "Jubilee" who was a foreigner (complete with accent). She was 14 years old and in the club with her fake ID. This worked great for creepy old men because they second they heard "14" they ran.

Jubilee later turned into my next made up alter ego "Chardonnay." Chardonnay was a little rich girl from Napa who's daddy owned a vineyard that produced Chardonnay wine, which is why he named me that.

Recently I have been using my real name but making up different careers when people ask me what I do for a living. My favorite one lately is telling people that I run the water show at the Bellagio and I sit in a little room that plays music while I push buttons and flip switches to sync the different fountains with the music.

Next time you come to Vegas, try not to believe anything that anyone tells you ;-)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Caution: Far Objects May Appear Cuter Than They Are

Every time I go to the gym I try to scope out my eye candy that I will focus on throughout my workout. It keeps me working hard and dedicated haha. Today I hopped on the treadmill and immediately picked a hottie running on a treadmill near by. He was adorable! Tanned skin, nice toned body, about 6'2, looked so cute in his hat and he even kept glancing over at me.

After my workout I decided I didn't want to leave the gym without talking to him. I thought he could be my future husband and what if I missed the chance to meet him?! After chickening out about 5 times my "friend" told me she wouldn't take me home until I went and talked to him. I was stuck. So I walked over to him and this is what happened....

Me: Hi! I feel like I know you from somewhere and it's going to drive me crazy if I don't figure it out. (I had never seen him before in my life)

Him: Hmmm I don't know.

Me: Do you recognize this face? (As I'm dripping with sweat and all red from a really hard workout)

Him: Maybe, but I'm not sure. (He smiles and his teeth are SO jacked up they are throwing out gang signs). I work at Planet Hollywood.

Me: Oh what do you do there? Are you a bouncer?

Him: Nope. I'm a bell hop.

Me: Have a good workout! (As I run away and hide).

Maybe I had sweat in my eyes when I picked him as my eye candy today, but he was definitely a lot better looking from a lot further away. Moral of the story? I'm never talking to any guy at the gym EVER again!

Monday, July 19, 2010

You find the most hilarious stuff when you clean out your closet...

Even though I have forgotten most things about my beginning of high school "boyfriend" my parents and neighbors definitely have not.

In high school I was preppy. I wore Hollister and Abercrombie. I hung out with other girls like me and we were little clones of each other. We all liked boys from the same "popular" group and didn't dare talk to any other type of boy that might be at our school.

Somewhere in this time frame I decided I was going to lead a double life. My after school life was a lot different than my at school life. This after school life was when the Hollister and Abercrombie clothes would come off and the black clothes and dark black eyeliner would be put on. What better accessory for a "punk rock" girl than a "punk rock" boyfriend?

That's where Danny comes in (and yes I'm actually using a guy's real name on my blog!) His goal in life? Move to Canada and become and Anarchist. I thought he was the coolest, except for when we were at school...then I would pass him in the hallways and look the other way or try to avoid him.

My parents always had this rule that I wasn't allowed to have boys in the house when they weren't home. My solution? Have them come over anyway and just hang out in the driveway or neighborhood. Can you imagine the surprise on my parents and neighbors faces when everyone starting coming home at 5 o clock that day and saw this in my driveway.....

Yes those are 3 inch spikes in his hair. And just wait it gets worse....I even drew pictures of our life together (spikes included)....

Check out that awesome outfit I'm wearing...and those sweet swirly tattoos on my shoulders. Haha. All I have to say is thank God it was just one of many phases I went through.....

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

"I'm sorry but I am not going to be called uncool by a girl who eats yellow mustard"

Yesterday I was swimming laps at our community pool and this little girl swam into my lane. Just as I was about to push off the wall for my next lap I heard a little voice say "Do you mind if I hang out in this lane with you?" I told her that I didn't mind sharing the lane, and kept swimming. During the next lap I wondered why she wasn't playing with the other little girls at the pool and that's when I heard them giggle and say:

"Eww get away from are contaminating the water"

"I didn't know they allowed fat uncool people in the pool"

"I don't want to remember you or your face, go away"

Right then my heart broke for this little girl. I wanted to yell at the mean little girls and tell them to stop. I wondered if I had been that mean when I was little, and I thought about all the bullies that used to pick on me. I wanted to hug her and tell her that someday it wouldn't matter what those mean girls were saying. That someday she would grow up and be skinny and pretty and better than them, but I didn't say anything. I just kept swimming.

She was still in my lane 30 minutes later when I was on my last lap and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to escape the pool without saying something to this little girl. So I stopped, and we talked for a little bit.

At the end of the conversation I said to her "I'm sorry those girls are being mean to you but you don't need to listen because you are better than that," and she looked at me with the innocence of an 11 year old and said "I'm sorry but I am not going to be called uncool by a girl who eats yellow mustard."

All I could do was smile and tell her that I liked her attitude.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Why I need to marry for the love of money or be successful on my own....

So I could drive this.....

And live here.....

And workout in my own home gym.....

And do this every weekend.....

And this all day.....

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I hated my job...and then I got fired

Since this is my uncensored life it's time to tell ya'll what is goin on.

Today I got fired from my job. Because I wouldn't be my boss's best friend.

I didn't want to move into her office when my coworker left. I didn't want to sit around and paint nails and watch TV at work. I didn't want to hear about her weekends or facebook status updates and what people were saying on them. I just wanted to do my job and have her leave me alone. That's when things started to get crazy.

First she decided she was going to shun me for not being her bff. Then it turned into mental abuse by belittling me and telling me that I wasn't good enough. Then it turned into me crying every single day either at work, before work, or after work.

I knew that something had to change so I planned on quitting. The funny thing is I got fired the morning I was going to quit. Even funnier thing is I found a job online that had my same exact job description before I went to work and got dumb are they?

So now I get to sit at home and collect unemployment while I look for a new job that I actually wake up excited about.

"The roads of your dreams are not paved with yellow brick; in fact, they may be paved with rejection letters. The people who succeed are often not just the people with the best-articulated brands; they're the people who respond to rejection by brushing themselves off and moving on, again and again." ~Kelly Cutrone

Monday, June 28, 2010

Badge Bunny

I'll give you a play by play of the whole date in a minute but let's start at the part where Mario Kart left me, yes LEFT ME, in the middle of the dance floor. Poor guy had been so nervous and untalkative all night.....which is hard for me because I am a communicator. If someone isn't going to talk to me then I'm going to find someone else who will!

Mario Kart decided to take me to a concert for our first date (much better than playing video games) and as we were standing in the middle of the dance floor waiting for the concert to start these random guys started talking to me. I'm never one to turn down an interesting conversation so the craziness began. Next thing I know one of the guys is telling me that the guy I was with left. I turned around and sure enough Mario Kart was no where to be found.

Two thoughts went through my mind. Either 1. Leave, drive home and never talk to him again or 2. Stay, talk to some strangers and make it a fun night. I chose option 2 and made my way to the bar.

Side story: The night before date night I had gone out with some girlfriends to a bar on the strip. I flirted with this really cute bartender for a bit and decided not to leave him my number or get his. I figured that if I ever wanted to see him again then I would know where to find him and left it at that.

Back to the date night story: As I was walking to the bar (dateless, or so I thought) I bumped into a guy that I thought looked really familiar. After he gave me a hug and introduced me to his friends I realized that it was the cute bartender from the night before! I quickly explained why I was by myself and he invited me to hang out with him for the rest of the night. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there stood Mario Kart wondering where I had gone (even though HE was the one that left ME). I said goodbye to cute bartender and went back to my original date with Mario Kart.

Date play by play:

We meet at a restaurant/bar. He is really nervous. Has a few beers. We talk about random stupid first date stuff. We go to the concert. Wait in line. He is still nervous. It's been 2 hours and he still hasn't even tried to touch me. Wait on the dance floor for the concert to start. I start talking to some random guys. Get left by Mario Kart. Get found by Mario Kart. Watch the concert. He walks me to my car after. Starts to walk away after saying bye. I run up and grab him and give him a big fat kiss. He looks shocked. I jump into my car and drive away. Get home at 2 am. See the light on my phone blinking. Check my text message....."I had a ton of fun tonight, when can we do it again?"

This is my life.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The one time a year when Vegas gets almost too hot to handle

Last weekend I worked the firefighter auction, I know you are thinking "what a tough life" right? It was heaven! Anytime there's a large group of firemen wearing minimal clothing and their uniforms, I'm so there! I even worked for free. Below is some of the eye candy for you to look at, but don't stare too long because this post gets even better!

After the event was over I called up my girls and we met up with some of the firemen and danced the night away. There was one in particular that wouldn't keep his eyes off of me! When I was worn out from dancing with all of his friends and decided to leave he left too just to make sure I got to my car safe. I gave him a hug and my phone number and that was that.

A few days later I was out with one of my girlfriends and I got a text from the fireman asking if he could take me out. I asked him where he wanted to take me and he told me that we would sit at home, drink beers and play Mario Kart. After I read the text I thought this guy was a genuine weirdo and sent out a mass text to all my girlfriends because I knew they would laugh about it as much as I did. His new nickname will forever be Mario Kart.

With my newfound bitchy single attitude, I told Mario Kart that unless he could think of something better to do then I wasn't going to go on a date with him.

My hot date with Mario Kart ended up being last night and in another post I will tell you all about it. Trust me, you aren't gunna wanna miss this!


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Google Me Bitch

I have a love/hate relationship with Google. I love that you can Google someone and find out anything about them. This is great news when trying to stalk potential boyfriends/dates/hookups/etc. I hate that someone can Google me and right next to that list of accomplishments is my old blog. The blog where I bash my ex boyfriend, talk about work and take you on my crazy adventures. The thing about the internet is nothing ever goes away. Ever.

So instead of continuing my bloggy break over at the old URL I'm gunna start this party in a new place where I can be a little more anonymous. And you know what that means? More frequent and uncensored content.

Bye bye ex boyfriend, employer and anyone else who I don't want reading my piece of the internet anymore!

Hello old and new blog friends! Welcome to my uncensored Vegas life!